The Closure you need after your heartbreak

Why did the love affair or the relationship end?
How could he/she stop loving me?
Where did things go wrong?
and many other questions have the same answer that,

“Just as people fall in love, they fall out of it too! Sometimes, people simply stop loving. They simply stop caring. That’s it!
AND THAT, MY DEAR, IS THE ONLY REASON FOR YOUR BREAK-UP!
There is no other reason or anything more to it. It is as simple as that!

Everything else, that followed after “that moment” when the other person stopped loving you, were just insignificant details! The hurting, the screaming, the fighting, the cursing, the cheating and all other hurtful actions & words… all of that was just a by-product!

YUP…I know that what I mentioned above was abrupt & there is nothing new or ground breaking in that!
BUT…I urge you…request you…to read this till the end. And, I am sure that by the time you finish reading this entirely, you would think different and understand the gravity of what I mentioned above!
Because, more often than not, the best and the real answers are the simplest ones..the obvious ones…and because of its simplicity itself, we tend to discard them! We think that there has gotta be more to it! But then, that is not true.
So do not discard this for now and please do read this till the end my dear. 🙂

So continuing on that thought, as I said, the “real closure” or the most important answers are generally not ground-breaking, although we try to search for some dramatic answers or ONE BIG REASON!
And everyone, who has understood this simple fact in its real essence have been on a similar journey as you are on today. They also endured a terrible heartbreak, went through a hurtful turmoil, an excruciating emotional pain!

After lots of tear shedding and innumerable sobbing nights, after countless days of depressive sulking and lonely sadness, there comes that magical moment, when suddenly the state of mind is reached when everything becomes crystal clear and the importance and gravity of that most obvious thought that I mentioned is understood.

So my dear, if you have got your heart broken then please be assured that just like many others, you will also get to this soothing enlightening understanding and clarity. You will get your peace too.
Eventually, you definitely will! 🙂

In the mean time, your mind would keep racing back and forth in the past, trying to understand what went wrong. Please don’t fight against that process. Let it happen.

You might think of things that you could have done or shouldn’t have done to keep the relation going. You keep thinking of justifiable reasons for what happened. You struggle hard in your mind to find the answers. Sometimes you take the blame and sometimes you put the blame on the other person or situations. You keep remembering and thinking-&-thinking and remembering! It goes on and on. You know that you need a closure and you believe that if you find some pin-point reason or some tangible answer, you would get your closure and be able to move on. And you would crave for that! You cry, you howl, you breakdown. You feel devastated. It would feel as if this world is the saddest place and you shall never feel normal again!

Let all of this happen!

Because one day, as I said, out of the blue, you would reach the Eureka moment and realize that there wasn’t any one big reason or a pinpoint justifiable tangible explanation for that particular “MOMENT” when the other person stopped loving you or for the events that followed after that moment. There is nothing that you could have done to stop that from happening. And there is nothing which, if done or undone today by you, would alter the way things are between the two of you. You would understand that the love between you two completed its life cycle. You would realize that it was nobody’s fault. Nobody can be blamed, neither you, nor the other person or any other events or situations. People simply stop loving!…there is no big “Why” attached to it! Its as simple as that!

And that my dear, is the real closure! 🙂

So don’t worry sweetheart. You will also get your closure. I Promise. You will understand and shall get that clarity I am talking about. You will get there! Believe me that, definitely, there is an end to this dark tunnel you are going through!

And during this journey don’t TRY to be strong. You are allowed to crib, curse, be sad and cry your heart out. And that itself is a part of “moving on”, a part of moving ahead towards the light. And you have to keep moving in that direction, with all your tears and sorrow. But yes, it needs to be done with grace and the faith that, one day, you will get your clarity & closure and you would understand the simplicity…the essence…of that obvious thought I have been talking about. And, I promise, this realization would come to you with PEACE, WITH SERENITY!
And that will be the ultimate eye opening closure that you would get and you would automatically move out of your sorrow, the hurting would stop and the wounds shall heal. 🙂

So wait my dear, wait patiently.

Bear this pain until that realization in its pure essence dawns upon you. Try to control the bitterness but don’t forcefully try to stop the tears or sadness. Don’t push yourself to feel normal. Go through the pain. Don’t try to bypass it. Don’t try to take shortcuts to come out of the pain. Don’t fall into emotional traps and fall for people who otherwise wouldn’t have mattered if you were not in pain. Don’t have one night stands or short meaningless revenge affairs. But most importantly, don’t fall into a rebound relationship and don’t be in a hurry to start a new relationship with someone else. It would be very easy with many shoulders to cry on around you with whose help you might think of climbing out of the turmoil. And it would be very tempting too. But don’t fall for that temptation, my dear. Because its not right for you or the other person whom you would be actually “using” to feel better temporarily. And more importantly, if you will give into any of these shortcuts or temptations, you will enter a self destructing vicious circle of a string of unfulfilling affairs. Eventually, you will become cold from the inside! And that my dear, is the worst thing that could happen to you. That’s not the kind of person you want to grow into! So please do wait for this closure. Wait for the right time. It will definitely come, don’t hurry. Let the pain reach its highest level. Bear it with dignity without giving into any tempting shortcuts. 

Wait Gracefully my dear…

And one day, suddenly, when you will hit rock bottom of sadness, that would be the day when you shall get the kind of SOOTHING ULTIMATE CLOSURE I am talking about.

And then my dear, take a deep breath and pat your back, for you have gone through hell and come out victorious. I am sure that you would have the most serene smile, like that of a “Yogi”, an evolved person! And you would be able to effortlessly gather yourself with the broadest smile on your face and your life will become better than ever before 🙂  

And then, you can carry on with your life with a deep sense of evolution and happiness. You would be ready to give love and accept someones love again. You would be ready to Trust again. You would be ready to fall in love again with a hope and a silent prayer that, maybe this time, the lifespan of the newfound love would be equal to your own lifespan, atleast!!! 🙂

May God Bless You and May Peace be Unto You! 🙂
-Vishrut